DXDW 08, day two

“Open bar . . . open bar . . . Fireman’s 4 at the open bar . . .” (my open bar song)

You would think the interactive folks were a bit more tolerable . . . I mean I know I assumed higher IQ, more of the geeky, former D&D playas . . . possibly a few part-time iTunes DJs/rappers in the mix . . .

But I did not expect the whole “patronize” as a pick up strategy.

These words actually came out of his mouth, “Oh you’ve actually heard of Evergreen College?! My opinion of you just went - — ” Then he did a little lever-raising gesture.

I survived a very lengthy discussion with rico suave topics like Delta Blues (Me: “Yeah I know who Muddy Waters is.”), my day job, why he wasn’t gay despite being a designer (Me: “I don’t think an appreciation for aesthetics determines your sexual preference or vice versa . . .”). I was impressed at how long at conversation went. Usually people just give up. Oh no. I was introduced to everyone around me by the wrong name.

He tried to get B and I go to Pangea which for anyone who is local knows that’s the bar where you go to show off your new halter top, open-toed sandals and white blonde highlights. That’s also where you find older eligible bachelors with money to spend (aka Sugardaddies Bar and Grill) should you need implants or a new car or what have you.

I tried to kindly explain that it wasn’t “my style.” Let me add that I was dressed up for the sockhop - - bouffy hair, retro dress, makeup, et al. His tag line for my “style”?

DUDE: “You’re like 1940s in the year 2009.”

That’s right ladies and gents. I am a full YEAR ahead of everyone. I don’t think you can call it futuristic if it’s less than fifty years  . . . but my style . . . is just breaking the future mark.

And that guy was a web designer. He would know.

As for B, she enjoyed a conversation about micro-finance with a guy who wants to work for the World Bank. When B was like, “Gaaaah?” he told her “Well a Nigerian woman is the head of the company.” Later a guy offered to buy her a free drink . . . at the OPEN BAR. Sing it with me, “Smooth operater . . . smoooooth . . .” And much later we accidentally bumped into some rough and tumble punky townie boys who had the whole “threaten” as a pick-up strategy. I think the reason we’d never seen them before around town is because those boys WERE TROUBLE! For D&D folks (I get these jokes only because I had a Freaks and Geeks marathon recently): stranger danger +10.

“Uhm no we don’t really arm wrestle . . . but . . . thanks-newayz-k-bai!”

The Lolescape. Ladies, learn it, trust me, k bai.