Slowly but surely I will be moving to a fancier, more “profeshier” website. As more eyes find their way to my work (ahem, as I submit my work to more places) I want to make sure my online presentation showcases my work first and my silly goof  second. I know. Yawn. Boring.

It’s been an interesting project to begin to clip down and condense everything. All of the copy becomes direct and concise. It’s a coy strategy for seduction . . . the idea that less is more. Especially when you know I’d love to give you all a 2 pg treatise on the hairdressers that inspired Heritage or what it was like to live on the set of You Are Pretty (“Good morning fuschia light bulbs!”).

We’ll see how it goes . . . I feel confident that my assault of both teh Facebooks and Twitterz is comprehensive. Everyone knows how I feel about Richard Ayoade and SBTRKT by now.

Much love to all you readers who care about these words and read them and sometimes even write me back.

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?

Graduate from Conservatory at Clown College; perform in a sketch revue about 9-11; survive bed-bugs; visit Las Vegas (and have perhaps the most boring trip ever); perform a song I wrote all by myself in a show (did this twice); pay a surgeon to infect my face with cadaver bones (oral surgery, aka Ghostface Killah); see two Twilight movies; visit a corn maze; get a tattoo; DJ for “Cubaret night” at a gay bar; watched three naked comedians clean my friends apartment while we ate donuts and watched Maid in Manhattan (true story); direct and produce an improvised web series.

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions and will you make more for next year?
Bitches get shit done.

Furthermore, bitches survive shit. And bitches survive the worst shit that happens even after the shit. AND BITCHES STILL GET SHIT DONE.

Next year’s mantra will be provided by Mary J. Blige: No More Drama.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
My dad’s best friend. My writing teacher.

5. What countries did you visit?
None. AGAIN. Lack of funds and time are my biggest excuses.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
Easy, breezy simple times. Relaxation. Eyes in the storm. More connection to my support system(s).

7. What date from 2011 will remain etched in your memory, and why?
Honestly, there are very few good memories I will keep from 2011. Exceptions:  LE + MB wedding was an adorable reunion of friends from my Austin years and I enjoyed some lovely dinner parties/movie nights with a merging group of various Chicago time friends. 

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I graduated from Clown College (Conservatory), directed/produced Completely Normal Activity (web series),  finished a draft of Am I White,  applied to seven graduate school programs, various summer residencies/workshop opportunities in the midst of terrible personal tragedy and recurring heartbreak.

9. What was your biggest failure?

I understand now that if I am not completely upfront and honest at the get go, I allow for gross misrepresentations of my feelings, my perspective and my art. I will engage in the uncomfortable art of confrontation a lot more now. And when I lay it all down on the line, as clearly as possible and receive no response or acknowledgement I will know it’s time to walk away . . . with dignity.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Oral surgery aka Ghostface Killah. Hopefully worth the pain and money. And – heartbreak. Recurring heartbreak with very little respite between each instance.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My iTouch before I dropped it about a zillion times. My tattoo.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

My mom’s. She’s always been my hero and always will be.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Oh well. How many hours do you have readers?! A brief, cold summary: There are a few people that are really close to me that have essentially betrayed my trust by unnecessarily putting my loved ones in danger. I would hope to forgive and forget at some point in my life but right now I am incredibly angry and hurt. That’s about all I can focus on right now.

Then there is one who was not particularly close but still yielded a lot of unnecessary damage simply by showing a lack of respect and being completely dishonest. I met this person with such enthusiasm and excitement, hopeful that this meeting would be of great significance in my life. Instead I leave with absolute contempt, utter disgust and feeling wary for what misery lies ahead. Yes. It is just that bleak.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Medical bills . . . graduate applications . . . funding my web series!

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Seriously the most exciting thing is graduate school. The promise of change. I’m right at the brink. Everything changes very soon and I welcome it with open arms. The time is now.

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?

Call Your Girlfriend – Robyn. Or the entire SBTRKT album.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? sadder
ii. thinner or fatter? same-ish?
iii. richer or poorer? poorer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

REAL TALK. Rage-aerobics (only way I know to actively “work out” – I get pissed off and work the fuck out).

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Make excuses, hold on way way too long, drinking and texting.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

Home home home. Friends. Family. Karaoke dance parties. Recording new songs. Rock Band. Drink and draw. YouTube videos. Bus Stop Boys. Two weeks of perfection.

22. Did you fall in love in 2011?
I repeat. Who’s blog are you reading!?!?

23. What was your favorite TV program?

Loved loved loved Garth Marenghi’s Dark Place, Nathan Barley and Community (except for this season which has been really, really flimsy. All wacky premise. Caricature not characters. Dan Harmon!!! Get it. Together.).

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Yes. Unfortunately. Sometimes there are bridges you just need to BURN TO THE GROUND.

26. What was the best book you read?

The Hunger Games trilogy was a lot of fun. I felt like a fifteen year old girl again. And I totally identify with feeling forced to fight with the world.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

SBTRKT!!!!!!!!!!!! Holy shit.

28. What did you want and get?

Very good question. A raise? Most of my recommendation letters (an all star team there, seriously). A studio apartment to myself. Big ass $1000 red tee shirt from Second City (aka my graduation certificate). Quiet moments of respite, tiny eyes in the storm.

29. What did you want and not get?

If I am honest, I wanted a relationship this year. Or some semblance of one. Whatever vague ideas I had about a desired partnership with a man-fellow before are definitely under careful review now.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?

Birdemic.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was in a tech rehearsal which went by fairly quickly and painlessly. I was so freaking stressed out and numb that I think I was just happy for a night of sleep.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Anything but the nightmare.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?

Lesbian business casual? I wear a lot of slacks, Adidas and sweaters so I can go from work to improv class/show/rehearsal/beers after. In the summer my outfits were more layered – sort of yogi/dance teacher style so I could go from morning bike ride – to work – to pajamas. Note: riding a bike in a dress? Sexiest thing ever.

34. What kept you sane?

Rage-aerobics, my bike, my Mom, my friends. Music! Vacation days. The promise of change. British comedies. Bad movie nights.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Team Ayoade, forever.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

I feel like ladies are under constant attack just for being female bodied persons. It stirs me the most because this is the 90s (joke joke joke) and I cannot believe mainstream society still regurgitates and reinforces the same tired old gender stereotypes.  I cannot believe how often I feel unsafe because of my gender (no joke) and I feel myself even more restless/impatient with the powers that be that supposedly be representing me (poetry – accidental).

37. Who did you miss?

Always my mom and my family. I miss Austin a lot too but I always know I’m going back. It’s always my home no matter where I live.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

Hmm, Rogue Pony’s entourage has been the light of my life. Chicago friend group – on point. Add Turntable FM? The friendtourage is seriously a force to be reckoned with. We roll deep.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

Though I’m rather blind
Love is a fate resigned
Memories mar my mind
Love is a fate resigned

Over futile odds
And laughed at by the Gods
And now the final frame
Love is a losing game 

40. NEW QUESTION! GIF OF THE YEAR:
 

Here’s one of my grad school personal statements via Wordle:

I am home for just a week before more traveling . . . the past two weeks I had the opportunity to visit NYC, surprise my friend for her 30th birthday, see friends and preview some of the East Coast campuses of the schools I’m applying to. I also rewrote the shit out of my screenplay, now titled “Yes And.” And I watched I Know Who Killed Me twice.